To Catch a Jou
by deadfornow
Summary: YAOI. Seto kidnaps Jou and the rest of the gang attempt to get him back. Chapter 2 up. "This is so screwed. I thought we were supposed to have a plot." "It's up Anzu's ass."
1. Let the fun begin!

Okay. Okay. Okay. Author's notes. This is a RP I did with Wusai, the Dark Phantasy. Check out her stuff.   
  
WARNING: OOC-ness, yaoi, stupid and crude humour ahead. And a lot of butt-smacking.   
  
DISFUCKINGCLAIMER: We do not own Yugioh. This is sort of obvious.   
  
Yeah. Read on, dear...uh...readers. *note to self: improve vocabulary*   
  
+  
  
Anzu: Eat cheese. We must all eat cheeze.  
  
Jou: ....buh?  
  
Yugi: You heard the man-- erm, woman. We must all eat cheeze.  
  
Seto: *smacks Yugi's ass* Hello.  
  
Jou: O_O  
  
Yugi: o_O?!  
  
Yami: *Appears in a flash of BLINDING LLLLIIIIIGGGHHHTTT!!!* NOBODY TOUCHES MY AIBOU! (   
  
Seto: ...*smacks Yami's ass* Hello to you, too.  
  
Yami: *grabs Seto's crotch* Hello.   
  
Seto: *SMACKS* DAMN YOU, ON YOUR KNEES! THERE IS TO BE NO CROTCH-GRABBING!! ARGGHH!! YOU ARE SUCH A SICK BASTARD! *stomps off* ...*smacks Jou's ass for then stomps off*  
  
Jou: X_X  
  
Yami: o_o;  
  
Mai: *suddenly appears, thrusting her chest into Jou's face* HELLO.  
  
Jou: O________________________O HELP!!! HELP!! I'M DROWNINGGGG X____X  
  
Seto: *watches from a distance* MAI! THAT..THAT...THAT WHORE!!! *throws a shoe*  
  
Mai: *gets hit in the chest by the shoe, but the shoe bounces off O_O with no harm to Mai O__O;;* BASTARD! YOU... YOU... YOU HIT ME IN MY CHEST!!! *runs towards Seto*  
  
Seto: *all he sees are...boobs coming toward him* AHHHHHHHHHH! THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SO MANY PRETTYPRETTYBOYS TO MOLEST!!!! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE PRIVILEGE OF ME SMACKING PRETTY BOYS' FIRM PERT BUTTOCKS, WENCH!!!!  
  
Ryou: ;_; But... but... I'M PRETTY BOY! *sobs* NOT JOU, MEEEE!!!  
  
Seto: Jou may not be PRETTY. But he is cute. *smack*  
  
Jou: HEY!!!!!   
  
Seto: Don't worry...you....white haired guy with a bad accent. You'll get yours. *spins to Yugi and Yami* YOU'LL ALL GET YOURS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Anzu: ...Kowai...  
  
Ryou: *gasps* YOU THINK HE'S CUTE?! *wails*  
  
Anzu: o_o;;; I said KOWAI, not KAWAII...  
  
Ryou: WHO CARES?! *wails louder* AND I DON'T HAVE A BAD ACCENT!!! ;________________;  
  
Yami: o_o  
  
Seto: *wrinkles nose at Anzu* YOU. YOU WHO BORE ME WITH YOUR...SPEECHES. Go away. I do not like your buttocks.   
  
Jou: ...I AM CUTE!!! Aren't I?  
  
Seto: *smacks*  
  
Jou: X___@ ...I brought it onto myself, didn't I?  
  
Yugi: *nods slowly*  
  
Yami: Jou... You're too cute for yourself. *smack*  
  
Jou: HEY! HEY!!   
  
Seto: *glares at Yami* You...DARE...challenge me? In my own PROFESSION? YOU WILL BE SORRY. *SMACKS Yami's ass* Consider us rivals, now.   
  
Jou: o.O  
  
Yami: You're on.  
  
Anzu: o_o;; Rivals... you two were always rivals...  
  
Malik: *appears* Yes. Rivals. To see who was better than the other, in ANY GAME POSSIBLE. D  
  
Jou: YOU   
  
Yami Malik: Like, poof.   
  
Jou: YOU  
  
Seto: *smacks Malik's ass* New buttocks.   
  
Yami Malik: Everyone loves my buttocks.  
  
Yami Bakura: Hi.   
  
Jou: YOUUUU  
  
Malik: No. MY buttocks.   
  
Seto: *smacks all buttocks, except Mai's and Anzu's* BUTTOCKS.  
  
Jou: STOP THAT _@  
  
Mai: ...YOU DON'T LIKE MY BUTTOCKS?!!??!  
  
Seto: NO. GO AWAY, WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS. I do not like your buttocks. Or the buttocks on your chest.  
  
Jou: ...they're called...boobs, Seto..  
  
Seto: Buttocks, indeed. *smack*  
  
Jou: _@  
  
Malik: ...*smacks, also*  
  
Jou: @_  
  
Yami Bakura: o_o;  
  
Ryou: *continues wailing*  
  
Yami Malik: ...*@Ryou* Are you looking to be smacked?  
  
Ryou: ;_; Erm...  
  
Yami Malik: *SMACK*  
  
Yami Bakura: HEY! HEY! That's MY aibou!   
  
Jou: My buttocks are getting bruised...  
  
Seto: *SMACKSMACKSMACK* ....I, right now, will create a plot. *points to Yami* YOU ARE RIVAL. SETO NO LIKE YOU. SETO NOW TAKE JOU AND SMACK HIS...BUTTOCKS. AND DO OTHER THINGS. JOU WILL BECOME SETO'S SECRETARY WHO DOES STUFF FOR SETO AND ...OTHER THINGS. *takes Jou and runs*  
  
Jou: X__X  
  
Malik: HEY! He took away my buttock source! BASTARD! ...*smacks Yugi's ass*  
  
Yami: ...O_O NO! JOU!!! *runs after Seto*  
  
Ryou: x_o;  
  
Yugi: O_O;;; YAAAAAAMMMMMMMIIIIIIII!!! ;_; Yugi is being harassed!!  
  
Seto: HA HA HA HA! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME AND JOU. *hops into a limo and speeds away*  
  
Malik: Hey. he cheated. Fucker.   
  
Yami Bakura: Duh.   
  
Yami: O_O;;; *summons the Curse of Dragon and rides it, following Seto*  
  
Anzu: o_o; Umm.  
  
Limo: *grows wings and flies away at the speed of light*  
  
Yami Malik: Now, THERE'S an idea.  
  
Malik: If that's not cheating, I don't know what is, anymore. *smacks Yugi's ass*  
  
Yami Malik: That looks like fun. *smacks Yugi's ass, as well*   
  
Yami Bakura: w00t. *smacksmacks*  
  
Yugi: ;____; YAAAAMMMMIII!!!  
  
Yami: *flying away at the speed of GREEN light. o_o*  
  
Yami Bakura: *cuts Yugi and licks the blood* Sweet.  
  
*no one's really paying attention to Yami Bakura*  
  
Yami Malik: Blood tastes so much better when your victim is tied up and helpless. And screaming. Can't forget the screaming.   
  
Malik:...*moves away*  
  
Yami Bakura: ...I know. But I need rope.   
  
Limo: *flies away at the speed of YELLOGREENCOLORS OF THE RAINBOW LIGHTTTT*  
  
Malik: NO ONE GIVE YAMI BAKURA ROPE.   
  
Yami Malik: *smacks Yami Bakura's ass*   
  
Yami Bakura: o_o *smacks Malik's ass*  
  
Malik: -_-;;; *smacks Yugi's ass*  
  
Yugi: ...I have no one's buttocks to smack! ;_; YAAAMMMIII!!!  
  
Yami: *ignores as he flies at the speed of pink light*  
  
Limo: *shoots bombs at Yami o__o;*  
  
Seto: GET HIM!!!  
  
Jou: X_@  
  
Malik: *smacks Yugi's ass some more* But we've got you...=D  
  
Yami Bakura: Yami's going to lose sooner or later. That limo's fast.  
  
Yami: *bombed, but still rides on*  
  
Yugi: ;_; Yami no love me any more.  
  
Yami Malik: YAMI!! GET YOUR BUTTOCKS DOWN HERE BEFORE YUGI STARTS CRYING.   
  
Malik: *smacks Yugi to comfort him*  
  
Yugi: Grr...*smacks Malik*  
  
Malik: O_O  
  
Yami Bakura: O_O  
  
Ryou: T_T?  
  
Yami Malik: O_O HEY. HEY. *smacks Yugi's ass HARD*   
  
Ryou: STOP IGNORING MY BUTTOCKS! *cries*  
  
Seto: *flying at the speed of light x499999 o_O*  
  
Yugi: . Nobody likes your pale ass, Ryou.  
  
Ryou: ;_;  
  
Yami: *flies x50000*  
  
Seto: *FLIES x 473047974398473748372626816218762187620304039939393939393939*  
  
Yami Malik: AHAHAHAAH!! YUGI MADE FUN OF SOMEONE!!   
  
Yami Bakura: It's not that funny. But okay.   
  
Yugi: I'm not totally innocent.   
  
*everyone coughs*  
  
Yugi: -_-   
  
Yami: *flies x5238491739784559283781975984721242748378529378293829*  
  
Ryou: *wails* ...*smacks Yugi's ass*  
  
Yami Bakura: O_O  
  
Yami Malik: o_o  
  
Malik: O____O  
  
Seto: *FLIES x3240239939494999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999*  
  
Yugi: _@ T_T   
  
Curse of Dragon: *faints* x_x  
  
Limo: *LIVES* *goes off to some castle in ....Banglockfishtishicniwklqlorooiaaan* (...not a real place, I'd hope.)  
  
+  
  
Now wasn't that so lovely and pointless? Of course it was. Leave a review. [insert witty threat here]  
  
You know what? Just leave a friggin' review. Appreciated. 


	2. To Banglockfishtishicniwklqlorooiaaan!

JOY. THE SECOND PART. AREN'T YOU ALL HAPPY?! Of course!   
  
WARNINGS: same as the first.   
  
DISCLAIMER: We own Yugioh. (A badly told lie on my part.)  
  
+  
  
Yami: *falls down onto Yugi*  
  
Yami Malik: o_O  
  
Malik: O_o  
  
Yugi: O_O; You're finally here!   
  
Yami Malik: Dammit, you left us alone with your cry-baby aibou.  
  
Malik: *smacks Yugi's ass* I guess now that you're here, I can't do this anymore. Crap.  
  
Yami: o_o *examines Yugi's ass* You people... were... SMACKING HIM!!! =_=  
  
Yami Bakura: YOUR fault you didn't come with he was screaming for you.  
  
Yami Malik: So true. So true.   
  
Anzu: *died, or something*  
  
Mai: *suffocated Anzu with boobs or something o_o.*  
  
Yugi: ;_; I dun like you anymore, Yami!! ;____;  
  
Malik: You can like me, Yugi. I can smack your buttocks ALL NIGHT LOONGGG. Among other things, of course.  
  
Yami Malik: We can make a threesome out of this. *evil glint*   
  
Yugi: o_O; I'm scared...  
  
Yami: No. I must join, too.  
  
Yami Malik: *GLINT*  
  
Yami Bakura: I know. Its scary when he does that. And sure. Four-some. Now, to get Jou. Then it's an orgy.   
  
Yami: Yess!!!  
  
Malik: But...where is Seto's secret...whatever has thing?  
  
Yami Malik: Apparently, it's in Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan.  
  
Malik: ...I have no idea how you pronounced that, but...okay.   
  
Yami: Oh, Jou, what is he doing to you now...?  
  
Seto: YES! DOWN ON YOUR KNEES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!   
  
Jou: _@ *doesn't do anything* *gets his leash tugged* OW! T_T  
  
Seto: ON YOUR KNEES. *smacks his ass*  
  
Jou: T____T HELP...  
  
Yami: ;_; I can imagine it now...  
  
Malik: ...I wanna smack his ass.  
  
Yami Malik: You want to smack EVERYONE'S ass. *smack* It's my turn.   
  
Malik: *smacks Y.M's ass*  
  
Yami Malik: HEY. HEY. EXCUSE ME. I believe I am the yami. Not you. *SMACKS*   
  
Malik: ;_; *whines*  
  
Yami Malik: *smack* No whining. Submit, bitch.  
  
Yugi: This is so screwed. I thought we were supposed to have a plot.  
  
Yami Malik: It's up Anzu's ass.   
  
Anzu: x_x *suffocated*  
  
Ryou: Why are we just standing here and not saving Jou?  
  
Yami Malik: I don't know. How are we supposed to get to Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan?  
  
Malik: HOW THE HELL DO YOU PRONOUNCE THAT?!  
  
Yami Bakura: Like this - Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan.  
  
Yami: I tried. I tried. I TRIED, DAMMIT, I TRIED.  
  
Malik: LIKE HELL YOU TRIED. You even wore out your poor Curse of Dragon. HOW COULD YOU??? And you, my Yami, are a FREAK OF NATURE.   
  
Yami Malik: ...Just 'cause I can pronounce Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan?  
  
Yami: ;_; It's too weak and stoopid.  
  
Malik: -_-; Yeah. So we go to this...place. But where is it?  
  
Yugi: I don't know. My YAMI should, though. But he's stoopud.   
  
Ryou: It's somewhere. We just gotta find the place that goes 'Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan'.  
  
Yugi: I wonder if there are any Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaanians here we could ask.   
  
Malik: GODDAMN YOU, HOW CAN YOU PRONOUNCE IT?!  
  
Yami, Yugi, Yami Bakura, Yami Malik, and Ryou: LIKE THIS - BANGLOCKFISHTISHICNIWKLQLOROOOIAAAN!!!  
  
Malik: *TWITCH* okay. We'll just...go to this Bangmewithacock place.  
  
Yugi: O_O  
  
Yami Malik: =_=; That's not the right pronounciation. *bangs Malik with Yami Yugi's cock*  
  
Malik: OW!! *kicks Yami Malik* _;;  
  
Yami Bakura: What the fuck? o_o   
  
Ryou: O___O  
  
Yugi: O_O;;;;;;;;;;;; NO SEX!!! WE HAVE TO FIND JOU!! THEN SEX!!  
  
Yami Malik: He's right. No more fighting or banging Malik with Yami Yugi's cock. We have to find Jou, THEN do that.   
  
Yami: *rubs his hurting cock o_o.* Ok.  
  
Yugi: Let's ride on a...Blue Eyes Dragon thing or something. We have to get to Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan!!!  
  
Malik: Yes. let's go to...where...he said..  
  
Yami: =_=; Only Seto has the BEWD.  
  
Yugi: CRAP! Well...we...can...WALK THERE!!!  
  
Ryou: WE DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.  
  
Yami: ;;; Ick.  
  
Yami Bakura: Indeed.  
  
Ryou: ...can we just go?  
  
Yami Malik: Hey. To make them SQUEAL, you can do this. *grabs Malik by the hair and hauls him up*  
  
Malik: DAMMIT THAT HURTS *KICKS Yami Malik*  
  
Yami Malik: Ow. See?  
  
Yugi: ;-;....you'll never do that to me, will you, Yami?  
  
Yami: ...No...  
  
Yami Bakura: ..I...see...  
  
Yami Malik: Don't be so sure, Yami. It's fun. ) *smacks Malik's butt*  
  
Malik: -__________-**  
  
Yugi: ...Yami... I'm scared now... ;_;''  
  
Yami: Aww, don't be.  
  
Ryou: ;____________; I wish MY Yami cared for me!! ;______;  
  
Yami Bakura: -_- I do. You stupid pessimistic I-always-have-to-be-the-victim FREAK.   
  
Ryou: Oh yeah. Okay then. ^_^   
  
Malik: I wished my Yami wasn't such a sadist. -_-  
  
Yami Malik: No can do. *smack*  
  
Malik: ..we should really go to this bangmewithacock place. Come on.   
  
Yami: Indeed. We must save Jou. T.T;  
  
Yugi: HEY!! WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT JOU THAN MEEE? T_T  
  
Yami: He has a cuter ass than you. T.T;  
  
Yugi: LIAR. *SMACKS Yami* T_T   
  
Yami Bakura: Hey, it's a bitch fight.  
  
Ryou: ...this is actually sort of fun to watch.  
  
Yami: *smacks back*   
  
Yugi: *smacks harder* LET'S JUST GO, ALREADY. _  
  
Yami: FINE.  
  
Yugi: T_T   
  
Big Bright Light: I will now create a HUGE gap in the plot and appear. So, like, poof. *transports them to Banglockfishtishicniwklqloroooiaaan*   
  
Yami: I shall find Jou and smack his ass.  
  
Yugi: o_o;  
  
Big Castle: YOOHOO! over here, dearies.   
  
Yami Malik: That was easy.  
  
Yami Bakura: o_o;  
  
Ryou: Way too easy. _  
  
Malik: must be a trap. or something.  
  
Badly Done Doll of Jou: *hangs on a pole*  
  
Yami Malik: What the hell...  
  
Yami: JOU. O_O  
  
Yami Bakura: ...Imbecile. That's a doll.  
  
Yugi: *already running to it* JOOOUUU!! *falls into a hole in the ground badly covered with leaves* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Yami Bakura: -_-;;;;  
  
Malik: ...smart one.   
  
Yami: YUGI! Oh well. The important one is Jou. Onward.  
  
Ryou: that's MEAN!! *pushes Yami down into the hole* FIND YUGI, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD. _  
  
Yami Malik: That was utterly random and pointless.   
  
Malik: Ditto.  
  
Yami Bakura: My Ra. Ryou showed an act of violence.  
  
Malik: o_o You're right!  
  
Ryou: *Sniff*  
  
Yami Bakura: Well, you did.  
  
Ryou: Oh, shush. I wonder what's happening to Jou now....  
  
Jou: NO!!! GET OFF ME!!!  
  
Seto: *__* I LOVE IT WHEN YOU STRUGGLE  
  
Jou: MOLESTATION!! RAPE!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! PUT THAT WHIPPED CREAM AWAY! NOOOOOOOOoooo!   
  
Yami: I could'a sworn I heard him...  
  
Yugi: I HATE you, Yami. T_T   
  
Yami: ...You do? *hugs Yugi* NO! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE.  
  
Yugi: _@ *walks ahead, ignoring Yami's hug*   
  
Yami: ...FINE. BE THAT WAY.   
  
Yugi: o_o;;; Are you possessed?  
  
Yami: ...Yes.  
  
Yugi: *squints* I think I see a door up there...geez. Seto's making this WAY too easy for us.  
  
Yami: He's an idiot, that's why.  
  
Yugi: I see. _@ *pushes open door* ...there's another door....*pushes open that one* ....another..*push* .....-_@...another...they're...all the same size, too...  
  
Yami: And another...  
  
Yugi: *pushes open another door* ....it's a room. *looks inside* ....no...it's a...hall, or something. O_O;  
  
Yami: And in that hall there's... more doors.  
  
Yugi: ...this SUCKS! *kicks a wall in frustration* *wall drops down to reveal a room..with Seto and Jou*  
  
Seto: YOU  
  
Jou: X_X  
  
Yami: o_o Yugi... You're so smart!  
  
Yugi: o_o;; I didn't...mean it...LET GO OF JOU, SETO. WE NEED HIM FOR OUR ORGY.   
  
Seto: NEVER!!!   
  
Jou: X_X  
  
Yami: LET. GO. OF. HIM!!!  
  
Seto: NEVER! *throws pillows*  
  
Yami: *gets hit by a pillow* x_x  
  
Seto: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!   
  
Jou: _@  
  
Yami: Grr... *throws pillow back~*  
  
Seto: X_X HEY!!! BASTARD!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAARGGGHH!!! *tackles Yami*  
  
Yugi: o_o;  
  
Jou: _@  
  
Yami: o_o I shall win at this game. No matter what you say!! *gets tackled by Seto* x_x  
  
Seto: RIVAL. BAD. *SMACKSMACKSMACKS with pillow*  
  
Jou: o.o;;;;   
  
Yugi: ...o_o...*grabs Jou and runs*  
  
Jou: o_o; Uhm..what about Yami...?  
  
Yugi: Fuck 'im. We're leaving.   
  
Jou: Yes, ma'am.  
  
+  
  
To continue or not to continue...eh. Review please. 


End file.
